Here's a great example of ageist behavior. I had the flu or something like it. I dragged myself to a major pharmacy for a quick visit where I had the swabs and my lungs were checked. As I sat in the nurse practitioner's office, with a fever, with a horrible respiratory thingy, and feeling completely miserable, she said, "One more thing. We're going to do a test, based on your age." I'm a nurse (and she knew it), I'm thinking they must have some sort of special breathing test to check lung function. Instead, she pulled out a sheet a paper and a pen. She told me, "Draw a clock." I was stunned. Here I was, sick as can be, dying to get home and curl up with my new meds, and she wants to administer a Medicare memory test! (I'm sure they are reimbursed if they do so.) I was enraged. I refused and she tried to tell me "We have to do it." I told her to type in her computer in capital letters "PATIENT REFUSED." Talk about ageism. As a nurse, I know that testing someone's mental capacity when they are ailing is the absolute wrong time. Plus, she never asked for my consent to do so. Ultimately, they have lost a customer at their clinic.
Bloody hell, Nancy, that is absolutely disgraceful. I would have done exactly the same as you. Hope you are fully recovered from the flu, but it will take a while to get over the behaviour of the nurse practitioner!
Kisane, I devoured every word! Your research was done so well. You kept me close all along the way and spoke to me. I suspect I am soon to be your super fan.
But wait! I already am 💜
I'm 75, a best-selling author who got more no's from agents and publishers than Chicken Soup for the Soul. (Ooh! I'll copy that and use it on my soon-to-be launched Substack newsletter)
Bookmarking and archiving your stack, Kisane. All of it!
Thank you for this very interesting and encouraging post. I’ve been very fortunate — I wrote my first book (nonfiction) at age 70 during the pandemic and found a hybrid publisher who published it in 2022. While I’m a long way from it being a money-maker, it has been well-received by its intended audience and by an unexpected audience too. In some cases, the message in my backstory (It’s never too late to try something new) has been highlighted and appreciated.
Hi Elizabeth, Congratulations on getting your debut book published. I’m intrigued by your ‘unexpected audience’! I love your newsletter about notes and had a good laugh at the ‘pepperoni’ story! The idea of writing notes is perfect timing as my grandson is about to move interstate with mummy and daddy for six months. Although he’s only five, I think I’ll write him notes that my daughter can read to him. Thank you for dropping by and leaving a comment.
I am 78 and have self published three books, two of them memoirs and one a so-called productivity book for ADHDers like myself. Right now, I am struggling with a memoir that is meeting a lot of inner resistance, some of it age related. Thanks for giving me courage!
Thank you so much for those lovely words LaVonne. I read your post about resistance and hope you’ve had a breakthrough. While watching an interview yesterday by Missy Higgins, an Australian singer/songwriter, I thought of you. You might identify with one of her songs, written a few years ago. Here’s the link to the video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiFKGbH4NzE
Oh, that’s beautiful, thank you. And yes, it feels just like those ocean waves. They come and go. Thank goodness I belong to a writer‘s workshop and have to come up with some thing every two weeks. In between, I often quit, but then I don’t want to leave that group so I write something. And every time I do, I feel inspired again.
Thank you, Donna; I’m so delighted you liked it. I just watched a documentary in which Kathy Lette shared her experience after writing her book The Revenge Club, about three best friends in their sixties. Her publisher said nobody would be interested in reading it, so Kathy changed publishers, and now it’s a ‘best seller’. Some publishers are a bit slow catching on, but I hope her first publisher learnt a good lesson!
Well met, Kisane, our time is now! I partnership published my first novel age 61 (The Rewilding of Molly McFlynn) but am looking at the self publishing route for the next. I'm UK where the publishing industry as you so rightly say is a hard nut to crack.
Congratulations, Sue, on publishing your first novel. I am very impressed that you are now moving on to the ‘next one’! After writing the post, I discovered there’s an Association of Self-Published Authors in the UK. You probably know about it. That’s an improvement!
I'm so happy to have found you and your community here Kisane, fellow Aussie! I'm now 70 and wrote and self-published an Amazon book, "Write Your Book at Fifty" in 2016 to encourage over-50 women to get on the bandwagon of self-publishing.
The timing is so right for us to knock over this myth of invisibility as we age. The only ageism I experienced was when the cover designer came back with a decidedly ancient-looking author image that I couldn't relate to at all. So I designed my own cover.
Many of my own writing community are over 50 women (and men). We see and support each other.
I couldn't agree more with this line in your post: "These women who pursued their dreams regardless of age, ‘are the very definition of age-affirming.’"
Oh my goodness, another Aussie! So pleased you’re here Jeanette. Well, I’m impressed that you wrote that book in 2016! And good for you designing your own cover. There’s definitely a ground-swell of women 50s, 60s, 70s, challenging ageist assumptions on the beauty, fashion and writing front - isn’t it great!
I turned 60 this year and my self-publishing journey started 3 years ago after a successful career in hospitality. So far I self-published several novellas. My decision to write later-in-life romance was based on the fact that I was unable to find anything to read with a FMC over 45 or even older. No matter the genre. According to reader demographics the timing is quite right. When I surveyed my readers I found that the oldest is far in her 80s.
Romance and FMCs 45-plus—what a winning combination! And great to learn about the outcome of your research with your own readers. Once I’ve published my book, I think I’ll do a research study to discover how many women 60-plus on Substack are self-publishing or having a book published. It will be interesting to know their genre and publishing experiences. I think our moment has arrived :-)
This article is an absolute goldmine, and I thank you for it. Yes, the time is right for older female authors! For example: If you look at reader reviews of the few Seasoned Romance novels out there, you see how hungry older women are for stories about women their age, not their children's ages. That's why I wrote my new book, "Write & Sell a Well-Seasoned Romance" (a guide to create and launch a late-life love story) which publishes at the end of this month.
Let's subvert the dominant paradigm, one sexy story at a time.
Just published my first book at 60! It contains stories of other women who’ve also had to deal with sexism, ageism, misogyny, etc. I’m in the most fulfilling and productive time in my life! And I am reading some of the most interesting work by other women whose voices we’ve needed for so long! Thanks for writing about this!
Thank you! Yes it’s available on Amazon and bookshop.org. I Can’t Remember if I Cried:Rock Widows on Life, Love, and Legacy, profiles the widows of 14 rock stars and what they taught me about grief as a fellow widow.
I am 82 and write The Granny who Stands on her Head (which I am and I do), which is also the title of my most recent book, with the subtitle Reflections on growing older. I love being old and write a lot about why. My next post is called ‘18 or 82 - which would you rather be?’ You can also see me stand on my head in a two minute video on my site. Do come have a look!
Dang, you beat me. I’m 78 and thought I would be the oldest person here, lol. And I have already subscribed to your Substack. Can’t wait to see the video!
Hi Kisane: I'm a 66-year-old female who published my second book of travel essays (my 7th book overall) several months ago. I am receiving wonderful responses from readers but I'm having a tough time turning that into sales and I think it is partly because I have an internal belief that I look too terrible to make appearances due to my physicality (I have let my hair go gray (mostly white) as well. I appreciate that you chose to write about this topic because it is on my mind so much as I try to come up with ways to promote my book while working on my first novel. It feels very lonely sometimes and perspectives like this help. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Hi Saxon, My apologies for not replying to your comment before now. I had no idea my post would get the response it has and didn’t realise people had commented until now! I so understand where you are coming from. So many women are publishing in their forties and fifties, and they look great in their author pics. It’s a real challenge mentally, as well as physically, to think that we can compete when we are 60-plus. I will be writing about all the things I do to boost my self-esteem once my book has been published in October. In the meantime, if I might make a suggestion. How about a pair of glasses with frames that have colour and a bit of oomph? Then, maybe match your jacket colour to your frames and get someone to take a photo of you in a relaxed atmosphere, like a coffee shop. What do you think?
Here's a great example of ageist behavior. I had the flu or something like it. I dragged myself to a major pharmacy for a quick visit where I had the swabs and my lungs were checked. As I sat in the nurse practitioner's office, with a fever, with a horrible respiratory thingy, and feeling completely miserable, she said, "One more thing. We're going to do a test, based on your age." I'm a nurse (and she knew it), I'm thinking they must have some sort of special breathing test to check lung function. Instead, she pulled out a sheet a paper and a pen. She told me, "Draw a clock." I was stunned. Here I was, sick as can be, dying to get home and curl up with my new meds, and she wants to administer a Medicare memory test! (I'm sure they are reimbursed if they do so.) I was enraged. I refused and she tried to tell me "We have to do it." I told her to type in her computer in capital letters "PATIENT REFUSED." Talk about ageism. As a nurse, I know that testing someone's mental capacity when they are ailing is the absolute wrong time. Plus, she never asked for my consent to do so. Ultimately, they have lost a customer at their clinic.
Bloody hell, Nancy, that is absolutely disgraceful. I would have done exactly the same as you. Hope you are fully recovered from the flu, but it will take a while to get over the behaviour of the nurse practitioner!
Kisane, I devoured every word! Your research was done so well. You kept me close all along the way and spoke to me. I suspect I am soon to be your super fan.
But wait! I already am 💜
I'm 75, a best-selling author who got more no's from agents and publishers than Chicken Soup for the Soul. (Ooh! I'll copy that and use it on my soon-to-be launched Substack newsletter)
Bookmarking and archiving your stack, Kisane. All of it!
I look forward to us getting to know each other.
Donna
Hi Donna, thank you so much for your enthusiastic comment! Looking forward to getting the news that your newsletter launched!
Thank you for this very interesting and encouraging post. I’ve been very fortunate — I wrote my first book (nonfiction) at age 70 during the pandemic and found a hybrid publisher who published it in 2022. While I’m a long way from it being a money-maker, it has been well-received by its intended audience and by an unexpected audience too. In some cases, the message in my backstory (It’s never too late to try something new) has been highlighted and appreciated.
Hi Elizabeth, Congratulations on getting your debut book published. I’m intrigued by your ‘unexpected audience’! I love your newsletter about notes and had a good laugh at the ‘pepperoni’ story! The idea of writing notes is perfect timing as my grandson is about to move interstate with mummy and daddy for six months. Although he’s only five, I think I’ll write him notes that my daughter can read to him. Thank you for dropping by and leaving a comment.
Excellent article!
Thank you, Janine, for your feedback. I appreciate it.
I hope so, I’m 72
Perfect timing Janine!
I am 78 and have self published three books, two of them memoirs and one a so-called productivity book for ADHDers like myself. Right now, I am struggling with a memoir that is meeting a lot of inner resistance, some of it age related. Thanks for giving me courage!
Thank you so much for those lovely words LaVonne. I read your post about resistance and hope you’ve had a breakthrough. While watching an interview yesterday by Missy Higgins, an Australian singer/songwriter, I thought of you. You might identify with one of her songs, written a few years ago. Here’s the link to the video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiFKGbH4NzE
Oh, that’s beautiful, thank you. And yes, it feels just like those ocean waves. They come and go. Thank goodness I belong to a writer‘s workshop and have to come up with some thing every two weeks. In between, I often quit, but then I don’t want to leave that group so I write something. And every time I do, I feel inspired again.
Just keep going :-)
Kisane - Thank you for your important post! Women over 60 have an enormous amount of wisdom to share.
Thank you, Donna; I’m so delighted you liked it. I just watched a documentary in which Kathy Lette shared her experience after writing her book The Revenge Club, about three best friends in their sixties. Her publisher said nobody would be interested in reading it, so Kathy changed publishers, and now it’s a ‘best seller’. Some publishers are a bit slow catching on, but I hope her first publisher learnt a good lesson!
Well met, Kisane, our time is now! I partnership published my first novel age 61 (The Rewilding of Molly McFlynn) but am looking at the self publishing route for the next. I'm UK where the publishing industry as you so rightly say is a hard nut to crack.
Congratulations, Sue, on publishing your first novel. I am very impressed that you are now moving on to the ‘next one’! After writing the post, I discovered there’s an Association of Self-Published Authors in the UK. You probably know about it. That’s an improvement!
I'm actually hybrid published, so it's neither one nor the other!
Hybrid seems to be a popular choice!
I'm so happy to have found you and your community here Kisane, fellow Aussie! I'm now 70 and wrote and self-published an Amazon book, "Write Your Book at Fifty" in 2016 to encourage over-50 women to get on the bandwagon of self-publishing.
The timing is so right for us to knock over this myth of invisibility as we age. The only ageism I experienced was when the cover designer came back with a decidedly ancient-looking author image that I couldn't relate to at all. So I designed my own cover.
Many of my own writing community are over 50 women (and men). We see and support each other.
I couldn't agree more with this line in your post: "These women who pursued their dreams regardless of age, ‘are the very definition of age-affirming.’"
Oh my goodness, another Aussie! So pleased you’re here Jeanette. Well, I’m impressed that you wrote that book in 2016! And good for you designing your own cover. There’s definitely a ground-swell of women 50s, 60s, 70s, challenging ageist assumptions on the beauty, fashion and writing front - isn’t it great!
So encouraging to hear that, Kisane! The more we stick together and support each other, the more impact we'll have. It's the new MeToo!!
I turned 60 this year and my self-publishing journey started 3 years ago after a successful career in hospitality. So far I self-published several novellas. My decision to write later-in-life romance was based on the fact that I was unable to find anything to read with a FMC over 45 or even older. No matter the genre. According to reader demographics the timing is quite right. When I surveyed my readers I found that the oldest is far in her 80s.
Romance and FMCs 45-plus—what a winning combination! And great to learn about the outcome of your research with your own readers. Once I’ve published my book, I think I’ll do a research study to discover how many women 60-plus on Substack are self-publishing or having a book published. It will be interesting to know their genre and publishing experiences. I think our moment has arrived :-)
I am looking forward to your research. Our moment has definitely come 😊🧡
This article is an absolute goldmine, and I thank you for it. Yes, the time is right for older female authors! For example: If you look at reader reviews of the few Seasoned Romance novels out there, you see how hungry older women are for stories about women their age, not their children's ages. That's why I wrote my new book, "Write & Sell a Well-Seasoned Romance" (a guide to create and launch a late-life love story) which publishes at the end of this month.
Let's subvert the dominant paradigm, one sexy story at a time.
Well, I’m definitely buying a copy, Stella! And thanks so much for the restack. This is all very new to me!
Thanks Kisane! Hope you enjoy the book!
Just downloaded the Kindle version. Love the cover!
Yay! Enjoy!
Right now I am wondering how it might be about of BOTH?
“And when we find ourselves becoming homesick for who we once were, we might instead consider old age as a ‘kind of homecoming.’”
I agree, Michele; bring them both together in acceptance. It’s a process, for sure!
😎Absolutely!!! 73 here! Go to it!
Just published my first book at 60! It contains stories of other women who’ve also had to deal with sexism, ageism, misogyny, etc. I’m in the most fulfilling and productive time in my life! And I am reading some of the most interesting work by other women whose voices we’ve needed for so long! Thanks for writing about this!
Wow, congratulations, Lori. Now that’s my kind of book! Is it on Amazon?
Thank you! Yes it’s available on Amazon and bookshop.org. I Can’t Remember if I Cried:Rock Widows on Life, Love, and Legacy, profiles the widows of 14 rock stars and what they taught me about grief as a fellow widow.
I just read your post about your book. What a brilliant idea and amazing project! Congratulations. I'm sending you a message.
I am 82 and write The Granny who Stands on her Head (which I am and I do), which is also the title of my most recent book, with the subtitle Reflections on growing older. I love being old and write a lot about why. My next post is called ‘18 or 82 - which would you rather be?’ You can also see me stand on my head in a two minute video on my site. Do come have a look!
Ann, I looked through your stack and subscribed, too! I was never able to stand on my head. My 6'5" body was too much for my neck. LOL
I'm 75, and published first in my late 40s, and my latest in 2017, at the age of 68.
I love who I am, and I'm thrilled to cross paths with the age-elite 💜
We would look pretty funny standing next to each other. I am under 5 feet (used to be just over, but am shrinking). Welcome to my Substack.
Dang, you beat me. I’m 78 and thought I would be the oldest person here, lol. And I have already subscribed to your Substack. Can’t wait to see the video!
It’s right there. You can’t miss it. And there are also people older than me here, but not many that I‘ve seen.
I’ve just looked through all your posts Ann, and there are so many I want to read! What a goldmine Substack is for women our age.
Thank-you, Kisane. Lovely words with which to start my day!
Hi Kisane: I'm a 66-year-old female who published my second book of travel essays (my 7th book overall) several months ago. I am receiving wonderful responses from readers but I'm having a tough time turning that into sales and I think it is partly because I have an internal belief that I look too terrible to make appearances due to my physicality (I have let my hair go gray (mostly white) as well. I appreciate that you chose to write about this topic because it is on my mind so much as I try to come up with ways to promote my book while working on my first novel. It feels very lonely sometimes and perspectives like this help. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Hi Saxon, My apologies for not replying to your comment before now. I had no idea my post would get the response it has and didn’t realise people had commented until now! I so understand where you are coming from. So many women are publishing in their forties and fifties, and they look great in their author pics. It’s a real challenge mentally, as well as physically, to think that we can compete when we are 60-plus. I will be writing about all the things I do to boost my self-esteem once my book has been published in October. In the meantime, if I might make a suggestion. How about a pair of glasses with frames that have colour and a bit of oomph? Then, maybe match your jacket colour to your frames and get someone to take a photo of you in a relaxed atmosphere, like a coffee shop. What do you think?