How To Give Feedback About Writing Without Crushing Morale
Writing A ‘Seasoned Romance’ With My Writing Group
Writing Group Members
Here are two of our writing group members. We are so proud of our superstar Tess, who is ninety! She has just sent through the first draft of a scene, and it’s fabulous.
Bryan is very valuable to us as he is the remaining male member of the group! We discussed a scene at our last meeting in which two males are having a dialogue, one of whom is our main male character, Laurence. In the scene, we want Laurence to tell his best mate, Dave, that he still has feelings for our main character, Claire. Bryan was quick to remind us that men don’t speak about their feelings the way women do, so we’re eager to see what he comes up with in ‘male-speak’ 😂
The Feedback Challenge
We have had two meetings since the last post.
At the first meeting, we shared what some of us had written for Act I (20 pages).
This included:
Scenes introducing our MC, Claire (49), to the reader as she goes about her everyday personal and work life.
A scene where Claire tells her sidekick, Maggie, about her affair with Laurence when they were university students, thirty-odd years ago.
Scenes introducing our MC, Laurence (51), to the reader as he goes about his personal and work life.
The Meet Cute Scene
The Inciting Incident, leading into Act II, Part 1 (50 pages)
Show Not Tell
After reading the scenes, it became apparent that in most of them, there was far too much ‘telling’ and not nearly enough ‘showing.’ As a result, the scenes were not working well.
As luck would have it, I was getting emails from Tim Grahl from Story Grid. One of the emails was on ‘Showing vs. Telling’. I forwarded the email to the whole group, and you can see Tim’s video on the subject on YouTube here. He nails it!
The outcome was perfect as one writer in particular admitted to finding ‘showing not telling’ a real challenge, and something to be worked on.
In the meeting, I stressed that virtually everybody finds writing in ‘show not tell’ mode a challenge at first. It’s a skill that has to be developed, and the only way to do that is through practice, practice and more practice.
I’m so grateful that I have discovered Story Grid, as it provides terrific resources for writers through articles, videos, emails and courses. There is also an article on How To Give Helpful Writing Feedback!
I didn’t discover this article until after the ‘show not tell’ scenario, but I will be using the techniques in future.
Breaking The Flow
Another challenge is when a writer kills the momentum by pausing the story to describe something, for example, a setting or a character. One of our writers believes that a detailed description of minor characters and settings is essential to fill out the story.
Again, in perfect timing, an email landed in my inbox entitled The #1 Mistake Killing Your Writing (and how to fix it). The email was about Why Description Often Fails.
Tim argues that all the reader needs is the minimum detail to understand what’s happening.
Before including any description, we should ask ourselves:
Will the detail help the reader understand what’s happening?
Is something important revealed about the character or theme?
Would the scene make sense without it?
Tim has a video on it here, and I also sent this one to the whole group. It was well received.
Staying Friends
While we are all focused on writing a story of a seasoned romance, it is just as vital that we remain friends and don’t stuff up the group dynamics in the process!
In the previous version of the writing group, each participant read their story and got general feedback. It was not about the craft of writing, so what we are doing now is new and challenging.
We have managed to move through these rather tricky situations without a breakdown in relationships. It would be unrealistic if I didn’t write about our challenges as well as how we are proceeding with the writing of the story.
The Second Meeting
In the second meeting, we focused on getting an overview of the plotline, following the drafting of Act I, Part 1 (first 20 pages).
Act I, Part 2 (30 pages)
Our MC, Claire, has to adapt to the new situation (Stage II) of being back in Kalminora following the death of her father.
There is a change of plan (Turning Point #2) when Claire has an accident and has to convalesce in Kalminora. This sets up the scenes for Claire and Laurence to get to know each other again.
Act II, Part 1 (50 pages)
There is progress (Stage III) in Claire and Laurence’s romantic relationship, and Claire now realises that a committed, loving relationship is what she really wants, like her best friend Trish and her husband Pete, not a high-flying career.
She takes her long-service leave, with the intention of resigning from her job at the end—the point of no return (Turning Point #3)
Act II, Part 2 (50 pages)
Claire’s excited boss rings to tell her they’ve heard from the Winston Churchill Trust that her application for the Churchill Fellowship has been successful. She has won the award and must prepare for media coverage and be available for interviews. Claire makes the biggest sacrifice she’s ever made (Stage IV) and gives up the Fellowship.
But then, there is a major setback (Turning Point #4). Laurence’s ex-wife returns to get her share of the spoils after she learns that Laurence finally has a buyer for his company. Claire gets jealous and believes that Laurence has deceived her and that he is going to abandon her again for his ex-wife.
And that’s as far as we got!
At our next meeting…
We will be discussing the new scenes that have been written by Michelle, Tess and Bryan.
Fran does a great job of picking up on inconsistencies and will be writing a scene with Michelle.
Margaret is back on board and will also be writing a scene with Michelle.
Denise is brilliant at reworking/massaging scenes and adding additional material.
I also add material, but my main job is to pull it all together in one voice!
We are starting to get a rhythm happening here 😉
Till next time…
P.S. It looks like we will be seeing the election of a new Pope in the not-too-distant future. There is a lot of activity behind the scenes to make sure that the Cardinals do not select a Pope who has been involved in the cover-up of clergy child sexual abuse.
If this is of interest to you, you may like to consider reading my book. It’s a forbidden love story, but it also gives an account, albeit fictional but based on actual events, of how bishops strategised behind closed doors to cover up these crimes. The times may have changed, but the strategies have not.
